The trading floor at Bear Stearns in New York City in the 1980’s. My first day out of school, assigned to trade fixed income government bonds. That morning, when I commented to the managing partner running the desk that I liked his tie, he replied the great thing about the tie was that to which it pointed, and winked — to the raucous laughter from the mostly all male trading desk. Later that morning, with no ladies bathroom on the trading floor, I was pointed to the stairwell to go down a flight. After circumventing male traders having sex with female trading assistants in the stairwell, I never again took the stairs and instead took the elevator down one floor to the ladies bathroom. Nothing from my West Coast upbringing nor my Harvard MBA had prepared me for working on a trading floor. And this was a mild day. I could have run away — maybe I should have. But my life was not in danger, and I wanted to learn markets and finance. I steeled my resolve and stayed. Women often do.
Recently, we have the stories of behavior toward women, particularly in the technology and media industries. Harvey Weinstein! Not to make light of any situation, but is this a surprise? There has been study after study showing that the “tipping point” a minority needs to reach to change a culture is about 12% of leadership. Yet this time feels different — women are speaking up. Women rarely do.
Of course there is a flip side to this speaking up. A few months back I had coffee with the chairman of one of the largest asset managers in the world — he is a wonderfully talented man I consider a colleague and friend. I have had dozens of business meals with him over the years. This last visit he left his office door open an inch. I noticed and asked? He said his legal counsel had instructed him to leave the door open for any meeting with any woman. The pendulum has swung that far. Do women leave their doors open during meetings with men? Women never do.
Over the last ten to 15 years, the concept of personal responsibility seems to be diminishing all around. I know there are situations in which individuals are treated horribly — and I don’t diminish those situations. Yet I am equally appalled when individuals play the victim –“I have been hurt; I have been offended” — and any excuse not to own one’s part in interactions.
Writer Ray Bradbury created a term “fair witnessing.” We have a human tendency to become our thoughts and feelings about what is fair — and being offended is a warning signal that our feelings are engaged. Observing what is actually true is harder work. And taking the high road and personal responsibility for our own role in interactions is the hardest work of all. Women–and Men–can do.
Carrie McCabe has worked with leading investors in Alternatives for over 20 years. She recently moved from New York City to Newport Beach.
[“Source-forbes”]
